By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
