OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
