I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
