this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
True strength comes from lack of pants
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
