They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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