Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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