PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
