No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
