u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
accomplished twins. life is a go
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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