Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
