ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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