I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Soap is not a condiment
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
