oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
