My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
