the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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