We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize