Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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