College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
