You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
