who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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