Don't make out with my wife yet
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
