We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize