All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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