Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just want nice things and good sex
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
