he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
