Are we in a gay sports bar?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
