Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
