So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
