I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
