The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
