CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
