Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
