I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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