ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
