I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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