Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
