5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I wish you could order shots online.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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