the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
3 2 1 whiskey
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize