Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
