Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Randomize
