i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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