just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Randomize
