i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
