THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I deserve this hangover.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
