Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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