i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
No stitches, just platelets and will power
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
