Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
