i may or may not be watching the land before time
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
God, I missed his penis.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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