my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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