Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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