Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
