I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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