Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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