You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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