There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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