If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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