no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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