Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
