Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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